Saturday, December 02, 2006

Finally. The whole sorry saga is out.

We are delighted to inform you that your broadband connection can be restored in the coming days. A broadband cease has today been placed on your telephone line, and BT will de-tag it in the shortest possible timeframe thanks to the strong strategic relationship our parent company Biscit enjoys with BT Wholesale.

The reason that you have not had your full broadband service this past month has been well-documented on national television and radio, as well as in the press. Following Biscit's acquisition of V21 last month, one of our broadband suppliers presented the new owners with a burst bandwidth invoice covering services provided to part of the customer base.

The invoice included services the supplier claimed it provided to V21 customers since December 2005. But the second-tier broadband supplier did not have the technology to measure bandwidth usage on its networks until June 2006. The invoice was therefore rejected and a full audit was launched into all invoices from this supplier. The supplier retaliated by ceasing your broadband service and suggested that you switch to a more expensive broadband package with one of its business partners, of ISP 186k.

Happily, the very large majority of you refused to become a victim of this supplier's commercial practices. Our initiatives in raising public awareness of the supplier's antics as well as with Ofcom and various parliamentary committees then forced the supplier to restore your broadband service until the cease was placed on your line today. Clearly, we are seeking significant damages and you will receive a voucher in due course representing your share of the proceeds once the courts have processed our claim.

You will certainly be pleased to learn that the saga of last month has now ended. From today, we can begin re-provisioning you with the same broadband service at no additional cost on the servers of award-winning Biscit. No more middlemen. You'll be securely placed on the servers of one of Britain's most established broadband providers. You can retain your email addresses (important particularly during this festive month) and there will be no need to change any of your Internet settings.

We look forward to becoming your broadband provider once again. On behalf of the staff of V21 and Biscit, I would like to wish you and yours a very Happy Christmas and a Successful 2007.

What made me laugh is that on another piece of correspondance from V21/Biscit to their customers, they referred to the submission by NS as 'creative invoicing'. In my business, and accounting, there is a regular joke....think of a number that bears no relation to what you are trying to figure out, double it and take away the number you first thought of.

I shall review NS's website later and see if they have a response, but my attitude is still much the same (even given I was a little aggrieved by V21/Biscit's rather long silence on the subject) - NS are trying to make out that they are the injured party here. How can you lie in the gutter and say that life has dealt you an unfair hand if you gambled away all the money you ever earned? How can you say that you did not try to novate V21's customers when you tried to get everyone to sign up to another one of your clients? Like OJ Simpson driving away in a car, very fast, as far away as possible, after his wife was murdered. There could be a rational explanation. But you have to admit, it does look very bad.

NS chucked a backhand lob to Biscit. Biscit has now delivered a forehand smash. Can I have broadband back now please?

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