Sunday, January 07, 2007

Tee hee hee, idle hands an' all that...

This is quite amazing - and I almost did myself an injury laughing. Read the 'customer reviews'. I haven't heard this 'masterpiece' yet, and probably never will, but I don't think I have ever seen anything like it on Amazon before. Give whoever did it a medal...or something...at least for brightening my day.

Update, 6 February 2007. Guess some killjoy (or realist) at Amazon decided that the reviews were somewhat fake. Ah well. This too, will pass.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

I don't want to turn this into a cooking page...but

I made a blinder of a fake pizza tonight. So good I had to write it down for posterity.

Ingredients
2 slices of back bacon, sliced into strips
handful of mushrooms, sliced
small onion, chopped
1 italian stock cube
2 slices of bread, preferably thickly cut from an unsliced loaf
tomato ketchup
a couple of handfuls of grated cheese - mozarella if you're feeling posh, else mild cheddar will do

salt and pepper to serve

Feeds 2, or a ravenous 1
  • Heat a frying pan - adding oil or butter if required
  • Chuck in the bacon, mushrooms and onion, fry until everything is soft, about 5 mins I guess. About 3 quarters the way through cooking, crumble over the italian stock cube and stir thoroughly
  • Meanwhile, toast the bread on one side under a hot grill, remove just before 'burning point' (i.e...."crisp"...but not charcoal...yeah?)
  • Spread some ketchup over the untoasted side of the bread. The squirty tommy kay is dead useful for this - I was quite gratified it was useful for something, you get it all over the table when you're trying to annoint your chips. I digress.
  • Pile on the bacon etc mixture on top, dividing the mixture equally yahdeyahda.
  • Top with the grated cheese
  • Place under hot grill and toast until cheese has started to get those lovely brown bubbly bits
  • Add salt and pepper to taste and handover one of them to loved one, who asks in astonishment how you managed to create something so tasty and amazing in 5 minutes (well, mine did). Alternatively, pick your favourite listening or watching pleasure with a glass of fave tipple and pig out.

Hah. Who needs you Jamie Oliver.