Saturday, December 31, 2005

I don't usually do this kind of thing

I don't make New Year's resolutions. Well not normally anyway. I make so many promises during the year which I break, what is the point of using a new year as an excuse? However, two things have made me change my mind this year. One, I'm in a new location, and, excuse the slightly soppy moment, is the place that I have been waiting my whole life to live in, before I even knew it existed. It sorta makes me feel I need to pay back something, in some way. Two, as this is an online, permanent diary which I can't lose, burn, deface or otherwise destroy (without hitting the dreaded delete button) I can come back on 31 December 2006 to see how I did.

1. Give up smoking. The old favourite. However, I think within a few years its gonna be illegal to inflict such harm on yourself, let alone other people. May as well pre-empt that.

2. Learn Welsh. Already started that one. Don't ask me why, but a good reason seems to be that a lot of jobs seem to depend on you being bi-lingual. Why, when probably 90%+ of the time they speak English is likely something they don't even know. But I don't want to be accused of being party to a murder. Even if it is of a language. And I may do that simply by learning it. We'll see.

3. Not to blow my top when the SOH buys yet another radio. He has to have something to keep him occupied.

4. Get another job. Since an ex-employee got severely reprimanded for slagging off his employer on a blog, I'm not going to comment further, let alone give you the name of the company. I think the resolution says it all.

5. Try and find another hobby other than spending too much time playing "The Waitress" and "Theme Hospital" There's more to life to Omelettes and Bloaty Head.

6. Learn to write short stories. A previous boss says I have a talent for writing. Well, let's develop it. If the rest of the world agrees, resolution 4 is sorted. If not, at least I can say I tried.

7. Get my driving license updated. One thing I haven't done. Since I have to change from paper to card license, this means braving the photo booth. After having a good laugh at the SOH's photos today, I think I owe him that, even though I don't drive any more.

That'll do. If I think of any more they'll be here tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Kill your common sense.

There is a quite disturbing advert on the radio, its been running for some months now. It's an anti-speed advert ending with a little kiddie's voice saying "Hit me at 40 miles per hour and there is an 80 per cent chance I will die, hit me at 30 miles per hour and there is an 80 per cent chance I will live"

Have you noticed the increase in such adverts, in varying degrees of gruesomeness? The ones that you see late at night really make your skin crawl and are invariably more ghastly than the late night horror that you decided might be a bit of a laugh.

I haven't driven in about 10 years. I did hit someone once when I did drive - at about 5 miles per hour. I have been hit myself - again at about 5 miles per hour. The fault, in both cases, I am free to admit, was with the pedestrian not looking where the heck he/I was going.

So someone please tell me what has happened to the Green Cross Code? (Why a cross, and why green, has escaped me). No longer do you see kids lining up nicely at the kerbside (the edge of their brogues just touching the kerbstone). Looking first to the left, then to the right, then back to the left again, listening (with the cupped hand to the ear) and then walking neatly across, looking and listening the whole time.

OK so it never did happen that way.

However, even in my street, in the backroads of Twickenham I would never ever cross the road without at least looking first (the time I got hit I was on my way home from school and just was not thinking straight)

Many deaths could be prevented by schools and parents teaching their kids the funduhmentals of crossing the road. There are of course many exceptions. Only a complete idiot would drive over 25 mph down a road which contained a school at 3.30pm on a weekday. But I'd love to see them try with the amount of parents, with Landrovers, on the school run. Oh that's another rant for another day.

So how about an advert aimed at kids in a similarly gruesome manner? Take care in crossing the road or you will probably DIE.

Extreme, but it might work.

Sponsored by Nobody

New toy for Christmas, right at the top of my blog. Sod the money, I might just enjoy winding it up - balloons - and say a few words right outta context - kitchen - just to see what it does - victory. Quite amusing to see what it came out with today. Can you really search for used school dinners on a Googlesearch? (jumpsuits) Who would want to? (fireman)

Monday, December 26, 2005

Doctor - Allriiighty then

Did anyone else notice that David Tennant's performance last night bore more than a passing resemblance to Jim Carrey?

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Hey ho it had to happen some time

Those that know us well know that we aren't very good at staying in touch. In fact, I used to squirm during a particular telephone company add starring Bob Hoskins as it seemed he used to stare straight at us whilst growling "Its good to talk" - and I would think of the people that I promised to stay in touch with and it was up to them to send Christmas cards. And it was rare we would send any back because by the time we got round to it, it was Christmas Eve.

I am actually quite organised this year. I'm posting our cards tomorrow, which for us is a result. I have already received the cards from the people that I expected and they are naturally receiving one in return...but there is an interloper on our mantelpiece.

It arrived yesterday. It was addressed to both of us and the greeting was with both of our names. It was signed by what could either be initials or a two-letter nickname. Neither of us know who it is.

This is gonna bug us all Christmas. They know that we have recently moved from London to North Wales as they wish us all the best in our new life and are happy that we are enjoying it. Its no good asking us to check the postal mark. The post office must have had a 'bad ink day'.

Now it is obviously from someone who admonished that we should stay in touch, or someone that we extended a warm feeling of hospitality. We don't have many friends. We aren't anti-social, its just we don't get out much.

So...thank you...whoever you are. You probably won't read this as you probably don't know I have a blog. But peradventure you do, can I just state that if I could remember who the heck you are you would get a card back. So here is a virtual Christmas card just for you - the unknown Christmas card on the mantelpiece.